It's not a topic you'll hear many people talk about in the open: domestic violence.

But did you know that one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime?

That's according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. It affects men as well: the coalition says one in every 33 men are victims.

But how prevalent is the violence in western Wisconsin?

The answer may surprise you.

The coalition says there were more than 26,000 reported cases of domestic violence in Wisconsin, in 2005.

Professionals estimate only one-third of domestic violence situations are ever reported.

So where can victims find the help they need to survive?

We found some answers.

Bolton Refuge House advocate Stephanie Erickson, says five to six victims of domestic violence, seek help here everyday.

"Domestic violence is a way bigger problem than people would know about in the Eau Claire area," Erickson, the shelter case manager, said.

In fact, Eau Claire Police officers say they responded to 429 cases of domestic-related incidents in the city last year.

That number is already nearing 400 for 2007.

"They're generally viewed by law enforcement as some of the most serious calls we go to," said Eau Claire Police Sergeant Andy Falk.

But what makes those situations so serious?

Psychologist Mark Bjerke says domestic violence is all about control.

"The partner will often use tactics like attacking the individual's self-esteem, telling them they're not worth anything, that no one else would have them, what have you," Bjerke said.

He says that psychological abuse increases the victim's sense of dependency on the abuser.

"They can often use just a look or subtle body language that also points out to the partner that they're in control and could damage at any point," Bjerke said. "The message is don't step out of line."

"It affects them in their everyday life," Erickson said. "It affects them right down to where they're children go to school, how they're going to get a job."

Bjerke says psychological abuse can quickly escalate to violence.

And he says the violence often comes in cycles.

"A violent episode is often followed by a very genuine seeming sense of remorse, regret, promises from the batterer this will never happen again," Bjerke said.

But he says it can be difficult to know you're in trouble.

"If you find yourself having to tell lies about injuries, circumstances, different issues in the relationship, that's an early warning sign that something isn't going on the right track," Bjerke said.

Bjerke says that realization is one of the most dangerous periods of the relationship.

"That's the time when the batterer is most threatened," Bjerke said. "The thing they want most, power and control, is leaving. And once they find that out, it's tremendously threatening, particularly if there's any history of suicidal threats on the part of the batterer."

If you realize the relationship is headed downhill, advocates say talk to people you trust and formulate a plan to get out.

"It takes family support, it takes some very deliberate planning, so one's not left homeless or in an otherwise dire situation in that relationship," Bjerke said.

"Maybe a bag of clothes, important papers, a set of keys, and some things ready to go," Erickson said.

But if your life is threatened, experts say, just go. Bolton Refuge House is one of the places you can go.

Domestic violence victims and survivors can call the number in the phonebook or walk in 24 hours a day and find counseling and support groups.

"It's important for women or even men to know we're a resource and there are resources out there to help people," Erickson said.

Here's the contact information for a few local resources that can help.

Most shelters have a 24-hour crisis line.
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BARRON COUNTY:
Department of Health and Human Services Domestic Abuse Program
Barron
Crisis Phone: 888-552-6642
Business Phone: 715-537-5691

BUFFALO COUNTY:
New Horizons—Buffalo County Outreach
Alma
Crisis Phone: 888-231-0066
Business Phone: 608-685-2424

CHIPPEWA COUNTY:
Family Support Center
Chippewa Falls
Crisis Phone: 800-400-7020
Business Phone: 715-723-1138

CLARK COUNTY:
Personal Development Center's Clark County Outreach Program
Neillsville
Crisis Phone: 715-748-5140
Business Phone: 715-743-6401

DUNN COUNTY:
Bridge to Hope, Inc.
Menomonie
Crisis Phone: 800-924-9918
Business Phone: 715-235-9074

EAU CLAIRE COUNTY:
Bolton Refuge House, Inc
Eau Claire
Crisis Phone: 800-252-4357
Business Phone: 715-834-0628

JACKSON COUNTY:
Bolton Refuge House-Jackson Co.
Black River Falls
Crisis Phone: 800-252-4357
Business Phone: 715-284-4301

LA CROSSE COUNTY:
New Horizons Shelter
La Crosse
Crisis Phone: 608-791-2600
Toll-free Crisis Phone: 888-231-0066
Business Phone: 608-791-2610

MONROE COUNTY:
Monroe County Domestic Abuse Project
Sparta
Crisis Phone: 888-886-2327
Business Phone: 608-269-7853

Monroe County Domestic Abuse Project—Outreach
Tomah
Crisis Phone: 608-346-0374
Business Phone: 608-374-6975

PEPIN COUNTY:
Bridge to Hope—Pepin County Outreach
Durand
Crisis Phone: 800-924-9918
Business Phone: 715-672-3150

PIERCE COUNTY:
Turningpoint for Victims of Domestic & Sexual Violence, Inc.
River Falls
Crisis Phone: 800-345-5104
Business Phone: 715-425-6751

POLK COUNTY:
Community Referral Agency, Inc.
Milltown
Crisis Phone: 715-825-4404
Crisis Phone: 800-261-7233
Business Phone: 715-825-4414

RUSK COUNTY:
Time Out Family Abuse Shelter
Ladysmith
Crisis Phone: 715-532-7089
Crisis Phone: 800-924-0556
Business Phone: 715-532-6976

SAWYER COUNTY:
Lac Courte Oreilles Oakwood Haven Program & Shelter
Hayward
Crisis Phone: 877-552-7474
Business Phone: 715-634-9360

Lac du Flambeau Domestic Violence Program Statewide Tribal Shelter
Lac du Flambeau
Crisis Phone: 800-236-7660
Business Phone: 715-588-7660

ST. CROIX COUNTY:
St Croix Tribe Alternatives To Violence
Hertel
Crisis Phone: 888-557-8758
Crisis Phone: 800-236-2195
Business Phone: 715-349-2195 X250

Turning Point for Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence, Inc.
New Richmond
Crisis Phone: 888-321-9216
Business Phone: 715-246-9216

TAYLOR COUNTY:
Stepping Stones, Inc.
Medford
Crisis Phone: 715-748-5140
Business Phone: 715-748-3795

TREMPEALEAU COUNTY:
New Horizons—Trempealeau County Outreach
Whitehall
Crisis Phone: 888-231-0066
Business Phone: 715 538-2311 X307

WASHBURN COUNTY:
Time-Out Washburn County Outreach
Spooner
Crisis Phone: 800-924-0556
Business Phone: 715-635-5245

WOOD COUNTY:
Family Center, Inc.
Wisconsin Rapids
Crisis Phone: 715-421-1511
Business Phone: 715-421-1511

Personal Development Center
Marshfield
Crisis Phone: 715-384-5555
Business Phone: 715-384-2971