It's been nearly a month since the body of an Eau Claire teenager was found near the Chippewa River in Chippewa Falls.

His mother is now talking about losing her son and the murder arrest of someone she says Jason considered a friend.

"It still doesn't seem real. I don't think it ever will," says Jennifer Grau.

In her home, surrounded by pictures of her son, she says nothing about her son's murder is sinking in, "still waiting for his phone call," she says as she picks up her phone.

She says Jason called her all the time, especially when he was staying with friends. But it's the last time she saw him that's sticking with her now. "Wagner's was the last place I saw him alive, he gave me a hug and he said I'll be home tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm fine," she recalls.

But her 17-year-old wouldn't come home again. Chippewa Falls Police say he was killed inside his Chippewa Falls home on Monday, February 22. Investigators say Shane Hawkins admitted he stabbed Grau multiple times. Hawkins told officers it appears Grau was asleep and that Hawkins only remembers being angry.

Grau's body was discovered two days later near a bike path on the Chippewa River. During that time, Jennifer says she was worried and trying to find her son. "Wednesday is when we were in the car driving all over to everyone's houses looking for him," she added.

Her boyfriend says they stopped at Shane Hawkins' house too, but got no answer. Jennifer says Hawkins had been Jason's friend for a while, and has been to her home. Jennifer says she thought Hawkins was in his early 20's not 30-years-old. Hawkins' attorney did not return our phone call for comment.

She says the accused killer left her son's body in a place close to Jason's heart. "It was one of Jason's favorite spots to fish," Jennifer said. The week of his funeral, Jason's friends and family marked the spot with flowers and wrote a message in the snow hoping the boy who loved the outdoors would rest in peace. "He was happiest when he was fishing and hunting," his mom said.

Now his mom, his little brother and sister are left hanging on to those memories, each other and the outpouring of support from friends. Jennifer says, "if it wasn't for a lot of these kids and then my kids and my family I don't think I'd get through it."

PART TWO:

There's a benefit tomorrow afternoon for the family of an Eau Claire teenager who police say was murdered.
Jason Grau's mom tells me it will help her pay for a funeral and a headstone she never planned to buy. Now, Jennifer Grau talks about attacks on her as a parent and how she feels about the man charged with her son's murder.

The world changed for Jennifer Grau and her family in late February, when police told them 17-year-old Jason Grau had been murdered and his body had been left by the Chippewa River.

"When they said it was him, I don't remember much after that," Jennifer said.

According to the criminal complaint, 30-year-old Shane Hawkins admitted he stabbed Jason Grau multiple times. Hawkins told officers it appears Grau was asleep. Investigators say they found the knife in Hawkins' Chippewa Falls apartment. But these days just the sight of one pains Jennifer.

"Nothing's easy anymore. I can't even pick up a kitchen knife without losing it," she recalls.

Jennifer says Jason started staying with friends a lot in January, but he called home often to check in. She says one of those friends was Shane Hawkins.

Investigators say someone dropped Jason off at Hawkins' home February 22, a night she says haunts her now. "Knowing I wasn't there for him," she cries. "Not understanding why he went over there. He wasn't supposed to be there. He was supposed to be with Justin and them. He talked them into going over there and I don't know why. That's the part that's killing me."

When officers identified Jason's body, Jennifer says the rumors started flying. "Got some that say I'm a bad mom that social services should come in and take a look at the other two kids."

But she says her 17-year-old was just being a normal teenager. "Trying to prove he was okay all the time, even though he was diabetic, insulin dependent."

She says people shouldn't judge her son because of what he wore or how he looked. Looking back she would change one thing. "I wish I would have hog tied him and brought him home."

When it comes to the man accused of killing Jason, she says it was difficult not to lash out in court. "I've never hated anyone so much in my life," she says.

But these days, she's just trying to concentrate on the love and support they're getting, like at the visitation, surrounded by hundreds of people who cared about their hunter and fisherman. "It just lets me know how loved Jay was and how good of a friend he was."

The benefit for the Grau family is Saturday March 20 from 3 to 7 p.m. at The Finish Line in Eau Claire. There will be live music, raffles and food.

Shane Hawkins' next court appearance is set for March 29. His attorney did not return our call Friday. Jennifer says Hawkins' family did express their sympathies.