Posted: $util.date("h:mm a MMM d, yyyy",$story.contentLiveDate,$timeZone)
Reporter: Chris Herzog

mr.mom

(WEAU) - When you were growing up, did your mom and dad both work?
Or did your mom stay at home with you?
More and more dads are making the decision to forgo a traditional job, in favor of raising their kids.

According the latest census in 2010, there were an estimated 154,000 stay-at-home dads in the United States.
In 1996, that number was just 49,000.
And while the dads we talked to wouldn't have it any other way, they say social stigmas, even in 2012, are very much alive.

Dave Myers says he loves being a stay at home dad.
But he says it's definitely a full time job.
His career path took a turn in 2005 when the insurance company he was working for as an investigator shut down.
After talking about the options, he and his wife, who's an elementary school teacher, decided he would stay home with their three kids.
Dave Myers says, "You might as well buckle down, just cut back on the things while they're still young and enjoy it."

While two of his children are now in school, he says looking back, the isolation took its toll.
"At first it was very hard to feel like you were a part of the community still, and you weren't just a shut-in, in your house."
Dave says in the beginning, even stay-at-home moms in the playgroups were suspicious.
"Is he really a stay-at-home dad, or is he just here to kind of play the field, or do whatever. Is there an ulterior motive?"

Brian Doxsie has been a stay-at-home dad since his daughter Josie was born almost two years ago, and he says the social stigma of a stay-at-home dad is alive and well.

"It's varied. You get a few people that look at you like, that's not a real job", Doxsie told us.

But these guys say the reality is cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, grocery shopping, and spending eight hours a day as coach, referee, disciplinarian, friend and father can be difficult.
And experts agree.

"It's that constant time with the kids that can take a toll on parents", Brook Berg says.

Berg is the director of the Eau Claire Family Resource Center.
She says since the recession hit, she's been seeing more stay-at-home dads learning a new lifestyle.

"There are more dads that tend to be staying home, and we really saw an increase in dads probably two to three years ago when the shift in the economy happened", Berg says.

In 1983, during the height of another recession, a movie starring a young Michael Keaton came out portraying an auto company executive who was laid off, and was thrust into the role, as Mr. Mom.
And just as there were preconceived notions back then, stay-at-home dads say those same attitudes exist even today.

"Other people, kind of look down on you, like why are you doing this? You're lazy, you should be at work. They don't see that ok, I'm raising my kids", Myers says.
"It was ok for your mom to do it and everyone else's mom to do it. Why can't a dad claim that same role."

Both Brian Doxsie and Dave Myers say the biggest key to being a stay-at-home parent, is the time *away* from the kids.
They say having adult time to pursue hobbies and conversations makes them better parents, and reduces stress.

Dave Myers told us,"Try and find some time for yourself, and that's for stay-at-home moms too. You got to find time."
"It's very important to get that break. You need that, you need to talk to some adults some time", Doxsie added.

Both say at some point in the future, they'll go back to work full-time.
But they say despite the sometimes quiet criticism, they're enjoying spending time with their kids, that they'll never get back.
"It's just something that I didn't get to experience with my dad, so I want to make sure they get that with me", Myers said.
Brian Doxsie added,"You see those smiles, you see that laughter. I wouldn't trade that. You get to see your child grow up."

If you're thinking about staying at home with the kids, regardless if you're a man or a woman, think about the money.
Brian and Dave both said financially, you have to be prepared to live on one income.
That means often cutting back.
And remember, if you're staying at home, you're not paying into social security or paying into a retirement account.

WEAU Mobile Site Home

Gray Television, Inc - Copyright 2002-2012 - Powered by Gray Interactive Media

Full Site