A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
A man tries to throw a lady from the window. She opposed.
The crowd shouts: Stop it, man! The lady is alive.
The guy: This is not a lady, this is my mother-in-law.
The crowd shouts: Look, she even resists.
Save your Crocodiles
A man: "Your mother-in-law fell into my pond which has some crocodiles into".
The other man - "The crocodiles are yours, so you'll have to save them".
A man: My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
Other Man: How is she now ?
First Man: She's fine. But, the dog died.
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the lady awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.
Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets double."
First wish: "I would like one billion dollars."
Genie: "OK but mom gets two billion."
Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mom gets two islands."
Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."